my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Friday, June 24, 2005
wanted to wake up at nine thirty today to continue where i left off, yups so i obviously have not finished 'everything except napoleon' yet, but i refuse to say the 'im so s****** for midyears' thing. i must speak blessing, i must i must i mustttt. yeah but i kinda finished up the part about the jacobins and the fall of the monarchy and the start of the republican govt or something like that. see lar, i'm not even familiar, but can't ask for too much at this point of time. sigh three more days, inclusive of today? that means like two and a half days to be precise. how upsetting and demoralising. alright i shall proceed on to math later. better finish a.p and g.p by today. and i've kinda realised that i havent really memorised all that stupid double angle formulas and yada. GEEEEEEEEEE. stressful okay i should jes shut up about studies its irritating me big time. i don't give a damn about my results, i jes wanna FRICKIN PASS. :(
ARGHHHH since when have i been reduced to THIS?!?! it's the bloody school i'm telling you. how am i supposed to want to study/be motivated to study/more than happy to study when i don't even like my school to begin with. -pulls hair out in frustration and sulks like a huge brat-
sigh i really need a break, even though i've hardly done much. GOD HELP ME.
written with ♥ at
2:26 AM;